The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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