I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize