We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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