You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The best revenge is premature balding
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize