why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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