hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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