I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
