that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
