Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
