# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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