dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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