I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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