JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
