so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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