her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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