just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Pants are for mortals
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
