omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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