We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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