do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
