I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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