I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
