was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
