worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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