Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
