so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
