i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
