Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
