go do what you do best...puke behind churches
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
