this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
