I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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