was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
