Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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