just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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