Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
