Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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