Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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