Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize