maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
