HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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