I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
this boner is exhausting
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
