Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize