There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
