i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
