We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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