wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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