When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
