she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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