At least make sure they are 18
Why
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
