come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
