After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
