When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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