Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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