did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
