hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
