On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just pynch a tree in the face
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize