Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
