it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if only i could text you this smell
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
