The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
