Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
