I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
