i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize