He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
