my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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