Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
