Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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