3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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