that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
