Need sex. Gaining weight.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
