are you so shy because you have an std?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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