If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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