We're like a lot better than the average bears
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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