How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
