I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
