You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
