my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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