I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
