I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
