dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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